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Why is my self care not working?

Self Care has surged in popularity. 

“Take a warm bath.”

“Buy yourself a new pair of shoes.”

“Treat yourself to an ice cream cone.”

Instagram is filled with artsy pictures with quotes and Twitter accounts send out inspirational messages daily. 

These things all feel nice, but are they sustainable?

We can read, retweet, and indulge all we want, but it still doesn’t get to the root of the problem. 

These things are a momentary patch, but they don’t fix the problem. They’re good to have but they’re not all you need.

Quick tip: Taking a lot of warm baths while reposting inspirational quotes are good but they’re not all you need for self care.

You might be asking yourself, “Why is my self care not working?”

We have some ideas.💡 💡 💡 

You Aren’t Caring for Yourself in Ways You Need

“Although there may be similarities between self care strategies, self care is subjective and tends to vary from person to person,” says Psychology Today.

So you hate bubble baths and are lactose intolerant. That’s all okay.

The ideas tossed out for self care are just ideas that some may find enjoyable, but they aren’t the only options for self care.

Consider taking some time to sit with yourself and think about what matters to you. Think about the things you enjoy; the things that make you feel at peace; the things that make you feel safe. 

Write them down. 

Maybe it’s finding a therapist or psychiatrist to support you. Or maybe you’re someone who needs to mute a text chain or delete an app or unfollow someone on social media. It’s okay. It’s all okay because what doesn’t 

Self Care doesn’t exist without the “self.” So, make sure you put yourself and what you need first!

What Can Keep You On Track With Your Self-Care

Our Self Care Planner can do wonders for you and your journey. It’s a great tool for sitting down and reflecting on yourself. 

Most women struggle to keep up with the demands of modern life, leaving them feeling unworthy, exhausted, and robbed of their own joy and confidence. The Lovet Self Care Planner is a scientifically-inspired planner that will empower you to take back your happiness, reclaim your self-esteem, and blossom in all areas of your life.


See how this journal helped!

⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ Brooke L.

I am constantly on the go, balancing grad school and content creating. By the end of the day I have little to no time to plan self care or just time to myself. Thankfully with my self care planner I can carve out me time throughout the month with ease. My self care planner makes it so easy to stay organized while also providing me with ideas on how to do self care! Thank you Lovet Planner for having my back!

You Need Consistency

Self Care is more than 30 minutes once every few days. It’s more than when you feel like it. 

Self Care needs to be consistent!

To build a consistent self care routine and be more proactive about your self care, you must schedule for it. 

We know life is hectic, so plan which days and times you can practice self care. You can even get up earlier or set aside just 10 minutes to do something.

What Can Keep You On Track With Consistency

If you absolutely can’t find time, at least remind yourself while you’re on the go. 

Self love starts with surrounding yourself with positive affirmations like the ones included in our Self Love Wall Kit

Easy to pin, tape or glue for a fabulous wall of Self Love. Give them to friends, tape them into your planner, use them in whatever way makes you feel good.

See how this journal helped!

⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ Michelle A.

 I love them. I have them on two separate walls and some on my office desk.

You Are Focusing Too Much on What You Don’t Have or Aren’t 

Self Care starts with mindset. Even in the most difficult times, self care means working hard to acknowledge negativity and not let it affect you. 

You might be spending too much time thinking about what you don’t have or aren’t and that affects your progress. You might be upset that you’re not exercising enough, not getting the job you want, not falling in love fast enough. 

Meanwhile, you should be embracing life and talking and thinking about yourself differently.

You know when people say “Talk to yourself the way you talk to someone you love.” That is so true. You’re not talking to yourself like someone you love. It’s okay to be disappointed, but don’t drown yourself in sorrow.

You need to take time to think of the positive things about yourself and around you. Focus on those instead.

What Can Keep You On Track With Positive Focus

We have two items that can help you if you’re struggling in this area.

1. Positive Thinking Journal

Take negative thoughts and transform them into a new mindset and a new you with our 100-Day Positive Thinking Journal.

⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ Sonja H.

I feel like the journal leads me into a new direction everyday I have something new to think about or feel encouraged to keep going. 


2. Inspirational Coloring Book

Coloring is one of the most freeing art forms to de-stress and unwind with. With the Lovet Planners Coloring Book, you'll enjoy beautifully designed coloring pages that are fused with motivation, inspiration, self love all while giving you space to be creative like the boss you are!

⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ Cheryl M.

I can relax coloring while thinking and re learning to self talk in a positive way rather than a negative way.

Align Self Care with Your Goals

Sometimes we assume that self care is separate from our goals. But that’s simply not true. Self Care works best when it aligns with our goals.

“Another mindset shift is challenging the assumption that prioritizing wellness is something that we must do separate from the other parts of our lives,” said Alyssa F. Westring, the Vincent de Paul Professor of Management and Entrepreneurship at DePaul University’s Driehaus College of Business, “My research has shown that the most sustainable self care solutions frequently come from bringing the different parts of our lives together.”

Westring says things like a walking meeting with a colleague or mentor instead of a Zoom call, community impact through picking up trash around the neighborhood, or strengthening relationships with recurring meetings with a long-distance friend or family member can be a part of self care and life goals. 

What Can Keep You On Track With Manifestation

Reach for what you want in life and seize it with the Lovet Planners Manifesting Journal. This journal is one part guide and 100% your journey, walking you through how to manifest and allow good things to flow into your life.

Get guidance on how to manifest new chapters of your life through structured daily journal questions and reflective worksheets.

See how this journal helped!

⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ AshleeLauren D.

As with this entire set they help in a new direction and it is in its simple form; a few moments spent on yourself a day helps you focus your mind!

The Final Wisdom Hurrah

“By changing the way you think about self care, you can make incremental and meaningful shifts that bring you greater peace, energy, and joy. In doing so, you can experience for yourself what research has clearly shown – that investments in your well-being can actually enhance your professional success. It is possible to create harmony among the different parts of your life, but you might have to challenge some of your assumptions to do so.” Alyssa F. Westring for the Harvard Business Journal

Have any tips for what helped you get out of a self care funk? Share below!

If you’re on Instagram or TikTok, tag us in your posts and keep us updated on your manifesting journey this month!

P.S. - We send out curated intentions every month to our newsletter subscribers so make sure you’re signed up to receive updates via email. CLICK HERE NOW.

Thank you to these happy Loveters for their photos:
  • @ashleymarieblog_
  • @rachpunzell
  • @_gabbylarose
  • @lacedpunchy
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