Life is a fickle thing, isn’t it? We go through hoops and hurdles of things we call life lessons. Some of those life lessons weren’t detailed enough for us to apply and adapt in healthy ways.
So let’s talk about being self-serving.
Better yet, take a moment to think about what “self-serving” means to you. Do you get a positive feeling when you read or hear the word? Maybe it feels negative?
Chances are, you read the word “self-serving” and immediately thought of the word selfish. As kids, selfishness was - and is - looked down on. Parents, teachers, etc. do what they can to make sure that their kids know how to share and be considerate of others; all this work done to cancel out selfishness and make sure there’s no more room for it.
With time though, that lesson needs to be revisited and redefined. These lessons have to evolve with you.
There is an ingredient in the lesson of “not being selfish” that is often missed and not intentionally, but it’s not something that immediately comes to mind when sharing lessons with children.
That ingredient? Boundaries.
We don't know about you, but we were dangerously raised to put others before ourselves...without teachings on boundaries. With growth, however, it's been realized that you can be a caring, compassionate person and focus on your needs too. The two don't have to be mutually exclusive.
Here are some signs that you might need to reevaluate your boundaries:
- You feel exhausted.
- You catch yourself saying “yes” to every project and person.
- Relationships feel like a one-way street.
It feels amazing to be thought of as the person who can get everything done when asked, but if you keep making time for others, when are you making time for yourself?
It’s time to draw a line. It’ll feel intimidating and scary at first, but know that this is a huge step that will aid in the transformation of your lifestyle. You don’t have to say “no” to everything and anything, but prioritize what’s more important (you), and if you have room for something else that’s when you can squeeze a “yes” in.
Note: Saying “no” can be a form of self-care. You’re putting yourself first because you know it’s necessary in order to function and not be stressed.
You have goals and dreams, too! You probably are due for a “Me Day” on top of that. So we ask you, if not now then when?
If your energy and bandwidth is always used up by other people, you have no space for personal and/or goal-oriented growth. Take this as a sign and reclaim the reigns for your growth and journey in life.
