If you feel like you’re blocked from moving forward in your life, one reason behind that might be codependency.
Codependency is defined as an “excessive emotional or psychological reliance on a partner, typically one who requires support on account of an illness or addiction.” When you’re in a codependent relationship, growth can be stunted because of this reliance not making room for your needs or care.
Seems off-brand for us to start talking about this, right? Not necessarily.
Breaking from codependency is the first step to reconnecting with yourself. When your life is rid of codependency, you allow more space to reconnect and start taking steps in self care towards healing. It’s all connected.
According to Insider’s “How to avoid becoming codependent with your partner during quarantine, according to a therapist”, the pandemic is breeding grounds for codependent relationships. Why? Because we’re more removed from activities that help us develop a sense of individuality and self-reliance. Some examples include meeting up with friends for happy hour, going to work at the office, going to the gym, etc.
So what can you do to be more mindful of the state of your relationship? What can you do to avoid or break from codependency?
Here are some tips to get you started!
1. Establish boundaries and work on your communication.
Sometimes you have to put your foot down. It’s uncomfortable but the only way things can move forward is with clear communication and by establishing boundaries. For example, your partner has a behavior that tends to pile stress on your plate. The first step is to make your feelings clear and set boundaries with them regarding your own space.
It might take some time or it might not work at all. Who knows? You might need to consider couple’s counseling or reevaluate the situation. A lot of Kyle’s were left behind in 2020.
2. Plan and start your own projects.
Codependency thrives when you and your partner don’t spend time apart. Being around each other becomes unhealthily normal, but in a pandemic, it’s hard to take time apart. To make it work, start planning and working on your own projects. Encourage your partner to do the same and these activities - done separately - can instill the sense of individuality that Insider was referring to in their article.
3. Lean in on your friends.
It’s important to get different perspectives and spend time with other people. It’s a break! And your close friends make up a great support unit and are there when you need them most.
4. Work on your mental wellness.
You do so much for other people but when will you show up for yourself? Now’s the time. Take a vow to focus on your mental wellness whether it be through acts of self care, seeking therapy, journaling, etc.
5. Take the time you need.
Can’t stress this enough! It’s important to listen what your mind, heart, and body are telling you. If you need a break, take that break. Maybe that looks like logging of social media for the rest of the week or month or maybe that looks like closing the bedroom door and watching Netflix for two hours alone. Take the time you need.
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